Hypnosis for Erectile Dysfunction

The Performance Anxiety ED Problem: Logically you know you should be able to perform sexually. You're healthy. The doctor has told you that there isn't any physical issue.* You're fine on your own.  You know it's not the end of the world if the sex doesn't go perfectly. Consciously...rationally...intellectually... you should feel fine. But you don't. There's a part of your mind that sends a signal of anxiety. You lose your ability to perform and enjoy sex.

The Solution: To use erectile dysfunction hypnosis and related approaches to work directly with the part of your mind that's sending that anxiety signal. So you have the chance to bring help directly to that subconscious/emotional part of your mind — the part that doesn't care about all those reasons why you should feel fine. So you have the chance to genuinely solve the problem at that deeper level where it's happening. 

*Be sure you're 100% doctor-approved healthy before considering erectile dysfunction hypnosis as a treatment option.

The way clients structure their ED is different from guy to guy. Even across different clients who have the same issue. So I'm constantly changing and adapting approaches to fit each client and the unique structure of their issue. The work usually involves hypnotherapy, but there are also many other ways to get things solved.

These are some of the approaches I combine to help clients succeed.

Hypnotherapy
Hypnotherapy is a great way to get to the core of an erectile dysfunction issue. It's a way of engaging the deeper/unconscious parts of the mind so clients get results they can feel, not just intellectual understandings. It's also a great state for learning and a useful tool for relaxation. These are some of the hypnotherapy approaches I use in my practice:

• Ericksonian hypnotherapy

• Classical hypnosis

• Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)

• Regression Hypnotherapy

• Ideomotor Hypnotherapy

Conversational Hypnosis
Through careful use of language, I can help clients connect and work with some very deep (and usually outside of consciousness) parts of themselves. These approaches can sometimes streamline the process, reduce performance anxiety ("Am I hypnotized?!") and make the process easier.

NLP
Neuro-linguistic programming offers a suite of tools that help clients gain more control over the way they're thinking about things. More control + more options usually = better sexual performance.

REBT
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy is a close relative of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). It's a way of helping clients see some of the "filters" they've been seeing the world through so they can find more choices. On it's own it can be a bit dry and hard for clients to accept. Combined with hypnotherapy and NLP, it can be life-changing, particularly for ED clients who are trapped in the "I MUST get hard" loop where the harder they try to get hard, the more anxious they get and the worse they perform.

Behavior Design
BD is based on the work of BJ Fogg, director of The Behavioral Design Lab at Stanford University. His research shows that long-term change is best accomplished when people feel good. Taking very small steps in a consistently positive way can yield powerful results, especially as ED clients are learning it's safe to get back in the bedroom.

Psychological Illusions/De-Hypnosis/Metacognitive therapy
Some clients create their ED by (innocently) hypnotizing themselves into some really bad trances. The stories and images they create can be powerful drivers for a lot of panic and anxiety.

Helping clients develop tools to "wake up" when they start do that can often make a big difference. The psychological illusion model offers tools to help clients to see through those thoughts in a way that allows for a lot more peace of mind. It's another way of helping clients wake up from some of the "thoughtmares" that have been scaring them when they go to have sex.

Metaphor
Metaphors and stories can often help clients see things in much deeper way than more analytical/left-brained conversations. They're invaluable for helping clients "connect the dots" and see outside of the places where they've been stuck.  Unstuck clients usually resolve their erectile dysfunction.

Progressive Exposure
Helping clients slowly work in the direction of fear trigger can often be an important part of the process. The really important thing is being sure that before they start they have new resources (usually developed through the other approaches mentioned here). That way they can feel safe as they move back into the bedroom.

Provocative Therapy
Sometimes being very direct or playing the devil's advocate with a client can help them to see new options in a way that more circumspect approaches can't.

EMDR/EFT
Eye Movement Desensitization Therapy and the Emotional Freedom Technique are both ways to "unstick" some thought/feeling combinations. One involves the client gently tapping some acupressure points, the other following a prompt for some simple eye movements.  Both can be helpful in resolving ED issues.

Breathwork
Certain breathing patterns act as effective tools for resetting the sympathetic fight or flight response. They can be a shortcut to creating a sense of calm that can be extremely useful, especially for clients with ED.

Visualization
Visualization work, much like the type athletes do to prime themselves for success, can sometimes be a useful tool with erectile dysfunction, particularly after a client has solved most of the issue.

I can't say how long it would take to resolve your ED. You may work slowly, you may work quickly. Some problems are straightforward, some turn out to be more complicated.  My goal is to help my clients find a lasting solution as quickly as possible without using 'band-aid' approaches or cutting corners. Usually things go pretty quickly, but I like working with guys who are ready to be persistent in resolving their ED performance anxiety if that's what it takes.

About 50% of the work I do helping guys resolve psychological ED is done online. About 50% of the work I do helping clients resolve their ED is done online. Online clients have done just as well as those who've been able to come in for office sessions. The results have been equally good.

Fees:

I charge a flat fee for client success. I find --Clients get better results when they commit up front to spend the money/time it takes to solve their problem (results aren’t as good when people dabble and  “try hypnosis”).-Clients get better results when they’re not worried about how much time they’re taking.-Clients get better results when they’re mid-process and they’re not worried about how much more it might cost them get to the point where they’re successful.  So you'd pay one flat fee to overcome your ED.  One price, regardless of how many sessions it takes to solve the problem completely.   ‘Solved’ as both defined by and judged by you.  Fees vary depending on the situation and the severity of the ED. Usually they fall somewhere between $3-7k.

Guarantee:

I guarantee all erectile dysfunction work with a half-back refund.  If a client reaches the ten session mark and they’re making good progress, great.  We continue working until the problem is completely solved.  If they’ve done that much work and they don’t feel like they’ve made progress, I guarantee the work by refunding half the fee.  It’s also guaranteed if a client has a problem later on. “Relapses” are rare, but if they ever happen – whether it’s three weeks, three months or three years later – they’re 100% covered.  The client is back here in the office and we resolve whatever we may have missed.

Insurance

Sorry, I don't do any insurance billing. I've had a few clients who were able to get the work partially covered with HSA funds, but I don't know the details of how they arranged it. I just provided them with a receipt.

The vast majority of clients I've done erectile dysfunction hypnosis with have solved their problem. Of all the different types of issues I help people resolve, this is the one I've seen clients succeed mostly consistently with. It's been more work for some than others, and many have resolved other issues in the process. There are people who don't get good results, though. Fortunately, I'm usually able to identify them before they start, so they can find someone who's a better fit for them.

From Dennis S., 2009

"I had been suffering from an intermittent non-physical ED problem for approximately the past year or so, which was increasing in intensity when I finally contacted Brian.  As a 36 year old married man, this was wreaking havoc on both my own personal happiness, and the strength and quality of my relationship with my wife.  Through hypnosis, Brian helped me get to the core of my problem.  Unfolding over the course of several weeks, we uncovered various, sometimes buried, feelings that had been contributing to my problem:  anger, resentment, anxiety, stress, lack of self confidence, and guilt.  Each session, we picked off one or more of these negative feelings from the past, and worked to eliminate these feelings in my present.  This strategy was highly effective, as I could actually feel changes in my thought patterns, and usually would notice improvements as we built on this work, week after week.  I now feel as though a huge weight has lifted off my shoulders, and my problem has not recurred!  

For those of you considering this technique:  this is not an exercise in passiveness.  You are an completely active participant in the process.  You simply need to open your mind.  In my own personal case, I was able to keep all my own thoughts and feelings private.  Using alternative techniques, Brian was able to help guide me through my issues without needing to know the intimate details of my life.  This was very important to me.  Brian can help you, but ultimately YOU are responsible for doing the work - finding the core of your problem and taking the necessary mental and physical actions needed to fix it.  If you are willing to face your fears, demons, true feelings, strong emotions, etc, and beat them once and for all on your own terms, this exercise is for you!!  

I am extremely grateful to Brian for his commitment and guidance in helping me to get my life back on track.  This hypnosis work has had profound implications on both my intimate relationship and my personal state of mind!  If you are considering hypnosis as an option, I can not give a higher recommendation than I can for Brian!!!"

From Stephen T., 2023

I started working with Brian because I found myself in a difficult situation, one where I couldn’t see a way forward on my own. I’d been married to my beautiful wife, Veronica for about six months, and had an expectation that our “honeymoon” phase would be similar to a long-term (unmarried) relationship I had years prior. That relationship ended after ~8 years with a failed engagement. I always say that “she started [the breakup], and I ended it.” I never felt like I wanted to resurrect that relationship. That said, over the subsequent 5+ years of being single in my late twenties and early thirties, I missed our most compatible feature: frequent, regular, satisfying sex. My ex and I met in college and grew together sexually, such that we seemed to satisfy each other’s sexual wants in a supremely compatible way. Living in a small apartment together during the last 3 years of our relationship—in our mid-twenties—seemed like what a honeymoon phase is supposed to be: sex 6 days a week, oftentimes twice a day, never forced, always satisfying for both. As strapping athletes, we enjoyed the “sport” that sex became. Many things changed for me after our breakup. I dabbled in dating, enjoying first and second dates most of all. All novel, all fun, all discovery, all light and airy, no commitment. I tried online dating and then app-based dating. An infinite variety of local women created an environment with even less commitment, where I found myself chatting with 10+ women at any given time. There was no need for a single woman to satisfy all my interests when I could have one who loves poetry, one who is a CrossFit champion, one who likes things I like, one who doesn’t, one who is more conservative, one more liberal, eyes/hair/nails of green, brown, blue…

It's worth noting, too, that what “turns me on” and “turns me off” is very visual and situational. I’m very attracted to athletic women, which dovetails with the fact that a woman’s overarching confidence is a primary trigger to get me excited. Maximally, a woman with supreme confidence and/or “superiority” really turns me on. But I’m also inclined to “white knight syndrome,” which leads me to women who are or have been broken and want a safe and steady person to lean on. I’ve only ever fallen in love with women who share this characteristic, as I’m floored by the reservoir of strength and depth of character that comes from growing through extremely challenging and/or traumatic experiences. But that brokenness often leaves a woman less confident and more submissive sexually, in my experience. So, it’s often the case that what turns me on most directly isn’t so often found in a woman that I fall in love with.

Back to marriage. As an increasingly devout Catholic Christian, I met Veronica on a Christian dating app after years of dabbling. Frankly, I’d lost hope in the apps for the reasons already mentioned, and I’d taken a few months off. But it was COVID, so I figured I’d wither on the vine if I didn’t try again. I did, and Veronica and I dated first at a distance and then in person before we were engaged and married in under 2 years’ time. We both had sexual pasts and both believed in reclaiming our innocence, so we stayed as chaste as we could during our dating life together. We made out for hours on end like teenagers… Those were beautiful times. Having sex into marriage became a struggle for me. I started using Viagra from that first night together—out of fear and anxiety for being so long away from intercourse—though I found that I was taking too low a dose at the outset—out of fear of the medication itself—to make any significant difference. I had to masturbate in front of her to get enough of an erection to penetrate, something I never once had to do with my long-term ex. Over the next few weeks, sex quickly became an enervating, distasteful chore rather than a beautiful coming together. I started questioning everything: Is there something physically wrong with me? Veronica is so sexy… She has what I would’ve always considered a “fantasy” body. Why am I not turned on enough to get stiff at the sight of her? I ended up taking a higher dose of Viagra to “guarantee” an erection, which even then only guaranteed a headache before a mediocre sexual experience. ED medications do not increase arousal, which I learned after the fact, but having that “back up” helped at least set a foundation for the sexual experience, one that developed into a somewhat-successful routine. Still, I didn’t want to be dependent on medications for the rest of my life, so I figured I’d try some sort of sex therapy. I had a couple sessions with a couple virtual therapists, but I thought my mind was too complex to take the time/years to develop a relationship that would bear fruit. I figured there had to be a better, more efficient way.

And there was, with Brian and Boston Hypnosis. He’s not a hypnotist, at least not in the way that I thought of archetypal hypnotists with the swinging watch. Instead, Brian uses a number of techniques to get at the “root” issue regarding whatever it is his client is dealing with. For me, Brian walked me through what I’ll call “exercises” and “meditations” to consider what it really was that was causing my less-than-reliable erections, and then consider how my expectations affect performance.

I realized over time that it wasn’t me or my wife that was the “problem,” but my expectations for 100%-all-the-time-perfect-and-pleasurable performance. I was comparing my brand-new marital relationship to that long-term relationship from my twenties, with all the stellar sex. And I heaped on doses of self-judgment when things didn’t go as expected. The reality was that I’d entered a different stage of life with a different woman with a wholly different set of histories, desires, wants, and expectations. And because we remained relatively chaste during our relatively brief dating life, my now-wife and I were just starting to discover what turned us on. Not being immediately 100%-absolutely-over-the-top- stimulated meant that I was 0% stimulated, like a zero-sum game. That’s the reality my mind—or as Brian help me discern, just one piece of my mind—spun for itself.

As Brian and I workshopped over the course of a few months, I came to realize that I was simply not turned on as often as I had been in my unmarried, sex-as-sport-with-the-ex twenties. He helped me realize that there are an inordinate number of reasons why this is, but the reasons don’t matter as much as the expectations behind being “turned on.” This realization really helped me start to honor the gift that I’d prepared for years and given to my wife in marriage, as sex has evolved into a selfless act rather than one that only gives me validation (i.e. I’m a powerful man, check out my giant penis ready to go all the time no matter what) or self- pleasure. Instead, as my wife and I continue to grow in our marital sex lives, we find selfless rhythms that work for both of us, and we end up receiving so much more than we give.

Working with Brian led me to the realization that at least part of what I found very difficult and a turn off at the beginning of our marriage is my wife’s sexual brokenness from years of trauma. As her sexual partner, I can very easily and inadvertently thwack! some of those emotionally tender places still sore from past events. When I do, I get turned off and my penis follows, as I don’t want to cause her pain. But as I am increasingly more tender there, she continues to heal. I am performing well consistently, and I continue to satisfy a place for her that no one else can or ever did. Talk about true validation and true self-pleasure (and a turn-on) through selflessness, and what’s become an increasingly beautiful sexual relationship. Thank God!

And thanks to Brian for helping me first delineate between and then bridge my deep, powerful, simpler, sexual brain with my overthinking, anxious, adrenaline-pumping brain. It’s the latter, left brain that keeps the former, right brain down and on the back bench. Brian helped me not treat the left brain as an enemy… It just wants to help, after all. But it’s a beautiful thing to let the right brain take the reins in the sexual space, as sex is a right-brained activity if ever there was one.

If you haven’t used ED medication before, I suggest starting with Brian before you do, as the feeling they provide (when you’re turned on) is tough to abandon down the line. If you use them now, it’s ok as long as you use them responsibly. But if you haven’t come to place where you understand exactly why you use them, then I strongly suggest you get Brian on the line to help you through this season in your life. Your future self will thank you for it, as will your spouse/partner. I can’t say that I’ll never struggle with sex again, as I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. But I don’t think I’ll struggle in the same way, as I understand and “feel” so much more about what’s going on in my mind and in my body than I did before working with Brian and Boston Hypnosis. It was money and time well spent.

Much as I'd like to, I'm not able to help all guys with psychological ED.  Click the button below to find out if you'll be a good fit as a Boston Hypnosis client.